I affirm my feelings. It's good to have feelings, to express them, to not keep things bottled up, contained, like I used to. I communicate my feelings: I feel anger; I feel happy; I feel shitty; now I feel pretty good again. I feel like this affirmation should end here. Or here. Or maybe here. I feel pleased that I was able to express my feelings regarding this matter.
What is this world? I'm figuring it out. I'm trying to understand. I wonder if I had an easier time in my past life. Maybe it was simpler, maybe I didn't have so many questions. Maybe I was a sultan in the Ottoman empire. Life was much easier for sultans, I'm sure. So much easier. Whatever. I don't need eunuchs or pages or dynasties. I'm figuring it out. I will take a long beard though. No question, I'm going to rock that long beard. Watch me.
Never receive the mark of 666 is helpful advice
I received one afternoon from a pamphlet a
woman handed me on 42nd Street. The woman
scowled as she gave it to me and said, Do you
believe in the power of the Holy Ghost to change
lives? He could change yours, just ask him. I was
once slain in the spirit, I said, but it didn’t take.
She narrowed her eyes at me, unsure.
Money is my friend. We had a rough start in life, and an on-again, off-again relationship over the years, but we're cool now. Best friends even. We hang out. We talk about our feelings. We go for beers. He pays obviously. He's a really good friend.
My relationships grow stronger every day. Love increases, laughter increases, happiness increases. Increase increases. That doesn't make any sense. Shut up, negativity and judgement, I have no patience for you!
I am the architect of my life. And the builder. I plan, I lay the foundation, I erect, I do all the complicated and back-breaking construction most likely with my shirt off because it's hot. Yes, people stop to watch. They can't help it. I take off my hard hat and wipe my brow. After I finish, I admire my creation. It's a beautiful building a.k.a. life.
I eat tacos. Eating tacos, I believe, is essential for happiness, for the good life. Everyone should eat tacos. Wars could be prevented if more people ate tacos; arguments resolved very quickly if people took a taco break. And if margaritas were involved, we'd have world peace. Tacos. Never forget.
I constantly raise my level of excellence. I'm always getting better, improving every day. Today is better than yesterday, better than the day before. So much improvement going on. I feel it in my bones. I feel it every time I walk around, every time I move, every time I dance, which is often, every time I seriously get down and shake it to the delight of all onlookers.
Life is pointless, meaningless, is something goes through my head for only a moment before I say, Life is full of points, full of meanings. So many points going on right now that make life worth living; so many meanings going on that make life so fulfilling. Points and meanings, can you feel them?
Everyone is going to wither and die. Well, maybe not wither, it could be a swift death. Good thing I'm such a positive person with a cheerful outlook on life who can say upbeat things like, I celebrate life and living every day, and acknowledge with acceptance and gratitude the fleeting and temporary nature of life.
She moved to Mexico after she got cancer, she told me. She had lived in Boston and worked as a nurse. After she recovered, she left. I wanted to get away from it all, she said. From my life there. And the cold, I hated the cold.Read More
I live life full throttle. Vroom. That's how I do things, at full speed. I go through life as if I were driving a high performance sports or luxury automobile. Maybe a Jaguar. I've always liked a Jaguar. Watch me go, if you can.
Even when I feel low I keep a positive outlook. Things are going to be okay. Things are okay. No reason to stay in bed until noon with the covers over your head. No reason at all.
Life is a joy, an adventure filled with delight and wonder. I always remember this, like now, when I'm stuck on the subway with a preacher screaming that all of us are going to hell if we don't get down on our knees right now and ask Jesus forgiveness for being such terrible people. He looks at me; he's glaring. There's spit on his chin. Life is a joy, I say.
My mind is strong, powerful. I see connections. I sniff out falsehood. I fight stupidity. My mind is flexible, always looking for new solutions. My mind is like a tiger ready to chase an antelope. But sometimes my mind is like an antelope outrunning a tiger. And nimble, that's the word I've been looking for this whole time. My mind is nimble.
I am awake. I am up. I am active, alert, ready to get this day going. I am not dreaming anymore. I am not half-asleep. The sun is shining in my face. It is activating my metabolism for the day. Hello, sun, good to see you, I say. Hey, the sun says. Get your ass out of bed. You said you're awake but you're about to fall asleep. Get up. Now. Okay, sun, I say. I'm getting up. I'm getting up. Jesus. Now, the sun says. Now.
I sleep in. Sometimes you need a little extra rest. Sometimes you had a rough week. Sometimes you drank too much the nights before. Sometimes the bed is too nice to get out of. Sometimes there's a cat who wants to snuggle. Sometimes you should just stay in bed for a while on a Sunday morning.
I am strong, powerful, mighty, noble even. That's right, noble. Like a prince. A kind and benevolent prince with a sword and beard and lots of money.
Waffles, all I can think about are waffles,
toasted and lightly buttered with agave
syrup. I think about the crunchy first
bite and the soft sweet goodness that
will follow right after. Waffles, how I
love you. Will you marry me? We’ll be so
happy together and have some beautiful
waffle babies and live in a house stocked
with as much syrup as we’ll ever need.
We’ll be so happy together, Waffles, even
though our relationship is predicated
upon me eating you, over and over again.
But it will be so wonderful. Just say yes,
Waffles. Say yes and we’ll be happy for
the rest of our lives.
I power through. Sometimes it's not easy to do things; sometimes it takes a little extra oomph. You know what I'm saying, that little extra oomph. Say it with me. Oomph. Oomph. Oooomph. Yeah, a little extra of that, just to keep things moving in the right direction. Oomph.